Saturday, November 08

I am not above being cravenly solicitous of your attention and good wishes, so let me begin this week’s edition of the Baseball Traveler newsletter by noting that two score and seven years ago I entered the world in a now-defunct Cleveland hospital. Let's talk about Minor League Baseball and, specifically, a non-defunct Cleveland affiliate.

If you're a Guardians fan who lives in the Cleveland area who also enjoys Minor League Baseball then you, as you surely already know, are in luck. The Triple-A Columbus Clippers are situated two hours south while the Double-A Akron RubberDucks are a mere 40 minutes away.

Closest of all, however, are the High-A Lake County Captains, based in Eastlake. Cleveland's Progressive Field and Lake County's Classic Auto Group Park are situated just 18 miles from one another. To get from the former to the latter, just drive along I-90E. The road will curve inland from Lake Erie as you go, but not so far ashore as to preclude a nautical identity. 

The Captains came ashore in 2003, following a relocation from Columbus, Ga., a city which welcomed a new team this season.

Classic Auto Group Park's main entrance is on the home-plate side of the ballpark, with the stairs leading to a concourse that wraps around the entirety of the facility.

The "Caps" logo seen on the field behind home plate in the above photo is part of the new logo suite that the Captains unveiled prior to the 2025 season. That refresh was brought to life by COLLiDE Sports ownership group, who purchased the team prior to the 2023 season. That group, headed by Alan Miller, also owns the irreverent summer-collegiate entity that is the Portland Pickles. The ownership group has brought a similar spirit to the Captains.  

Examples of the "new" Captains abound. A collage outside of a second-level restroom, for example, features artwork created by local illustrators for every homestand.

You may notice the presence of a smug cormorant in one of the above pictures. That’s Horatio, who hatched at the ballpark at the start of the 2023 campaign.

The second level is also home to a series of kitschy themed suites. 

The ‘70s bowling suite features a mini bowling lane and Nixon-era aesthetics, including a floor model TV playing fuzzy videos of popular music from that period.

The "Captain's Quarters" '80s arcade suite boasts a lineup of classic video games as well as a neon-drenched (and fully functional) AV setup. 

On the concourse, I met another new addition to Classic Auto Group Park: Mokoro the bat dog.

Mokoro is accompanied at the ballpark with her owner, Victoria Brady, a trainer for Mission Empawthy. In addition to retrieving bats and balls, Mokoro sometimes works as a food delivery dog, transporting concession items to fans seated in Toilet Row.

Yes, Toilet Row, sponsored by Roto-Rooter. Watch the game like a king on a throne.

On this evening, Toilet Row was rather clogged. Two fans were seated at one end. On the other end was Captains broadcaster Logan Potosky, who ventured down from the booth for a special outdoor broadcast.

In the center of it all was Designated Eater Jae Canetti, tasked with eating the ballpark cuisine that my gluten-free diet prohibits. Here he is on the concourse after the game, as proof he survived despite what you are about to see. 

I first got to know Jae about a decade ago, when he was a middle schooler in Virginia with baseball writing aspirations. Over the years, he wrote guest posts on my blog, collaborated with me at the Winter Meetings and covered a Brooklyn Cyclones game on location. 

Jae is now an adult -- it's funny how that happens -- who moved to Cleveland after graduating from Wake Forest University. He now works for the Department of Energy on a Cleveland-area green energy project.   

In lieu of an array of concession items, Jae had one simple yet essentially impossible task: Eat the Moby Dick Sandwich.  

As Captain Ahab could tell you, the Moby Dick is impossible to defeat. It's gargantuan and bizarre, constructed meticulously yet haphazardly according to a logic, or illogic, all its own. It consists of 16 fish patties, 37 pickles, four slices of American cheese, lettuce, "mystery spices" and tartar sauce. Goldfish crackers served in a mini helmet are served as a complimentary side item.

Potosky, broadcasting "live from Roto-Rooter Toilet Row," asked Jae for his initial impressions of this "big behemoth."

"Growing up, my mom used to tell me I was a very hungry boy," replied Jae. "I think we have to reset those expectations. I'm getting through 25 percent of this if I’m lucky. … Tell my mom I love her if I deteriorate from here."

Jae, feeling defeated before he started, got to work as Potosky narrated the action on the broadcast. "No napkins? No drinks?" said Jae incredulously, realizing that he was missing some key essentials. "I'm just going in."

Two innings later, Jae's tone had shifted further into nihilism, regret and self-loathing.

"It’s a primal experience," he said. "I'm picking up full fish patties with my bare hands and they're disintegrating on me. I feel like I'm doing a bad thing for the overall fish population. There's a fish crisis going on right now, and I am not helping the cause here."

"Here's a fly ball to right-center field," replied Potosky.

The more Jae ate, the larger the sandwich appeared to him, and he became convinced that it was repopulating itself of its own accord. He would have thrown in the towel if he was able, but as it was he didn't even have a napkin.

But, hey, look on the bright side: Jae went home with plenty of leftovers. Waste not, want not. His mom would be proud.

Dessert was the last thing on Jae's mind, so I left him in his misery in order to convene with Matt and Carolyn LaWell and their daughter, Margot. I’ve known the LaWells since their 2012 "A Minor League Season" project, when they visited (and wrote about) all 119 full-season ballparks (!)

The LaWells dug into the Grand Slam Sundae, featuring four funnel cakes, five scoops of ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream. 

"Assuming you eat it quickly enough -- unlike Jae with the Moby Dick -- you get a little bit of crunch," said Matt.

A little movement is good following massive caloric intake, so we then hit the miniature golf course on the outfield concourse. It was an endearingly chaotic scene.

Through the space underneath the scoreboard, we watched as the Captains put the finishing touches on their 5-3 win over the TinCaps.

Good night from Eastlake, Ohio, where I imagined that the fireworks show was in celebration of one man's failed but valiant attempt to eat a giant fish sandwich. 

Please tell friends and strangers alike to please subscribe to this newsletter. Also, please follow me on Instagram (@thebensbiz), X (@bensbiz) and Bluesky (@bensbiz.bsky.social). Your adherence to these requests are noted and appreciated.

Contact Benjamin Hill

View Online

© 2025 MLB Advanced Media, L.P. MLB trademarks and copyrights are used with permission of Major League Baseball. Visit MLB.com. Any other marks used herein are trademarks of their respective owners.

Please review our Privacy Policy.

You (josh.jackson@mlb.com) received this message because you registered to receive commercial email messages or purchased a ticket from MLB. 

Please add info@marketing.mlbemail.com to your address book to ensure our messages reach your inbox. If you no longer wish to receive commercial email messages from MLB.com, please unsubscribe or log in and manage your email subscriptions.

Postal Address: MLB.com, c/o MLB Advanced Media, L.P., 1271 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.